My mother beat me and i Teleported to China.... NEED HELP GETTING BACK HOME?

Ok, i've locked onto you're IP address and am synchronizing our systems. Clearly what happenned is you broke through the dimensional barrier of your PC and d the 5th dimension of nonlocality, affecting a chain of reaction which converted you into a digital blueprint of yourself, destroying the real you, and recreating you in China. Now, I can reverse the process, producing an exact model of your mind and body and then destroying the real you again via Heisenburg's Uncertainty principle. You will then be recreated back at home. Sound good? Okay, activating sequence now...You should see a bright red light in a few seconds...Now, on the count of three, tap your shoes together and say, "There's no place like home, There's no place like home." Repeat this three times, and it should activate the termination sequence...Good Luck!