I'm planning an elegant soiree on my yacht tonight. Should I invite the Astors, or the Hearsts?

I'd rather neither attended, to be honest. They're all such dashed bores. But Milly simply won't have it. She says a party isn't a party these days without some representative element of the New York set. The thing is, if I invite members of both clans, there's bound to be some manner of to-do. The Astors are simply dripping in wealth, but they're all so dreary and grey. And the Hearsts? I suppose their presence would do wonders for one's public standing, but, well.. you know how those newspaper people are. I don't suppose any kind soul might aid a chap enmeshed in such a tedious social conundrum? Chin chin!